What is being assertive…. (for college students and Church classes-pass along)

Being assertive means to be able to stand up for yourself and to do it in a way that is fair and kind to other’s.

This means that you can be friendly about your goals and wishes and still be kind to other’s and respect them as 

a person. Ways to practice being more assertive are to:

 

  • Being assertive does not mean being aggressive, rude or self centered. A person who is assertive demonstrates the ability to stand up for their thoughts and feelings without being mean or without backing down out of fear. It is the middle ground between being passive and aggressive.

  • 2

    Language: Be tactful and respectful. Ex: “Do you have a moment to talk” or “I am sorry to interrupt”.

  • 3

    Language: Use “I” statements. I feel or I think. This helps keep the focus on communication versus blaming. ex: “I feel angry when you…” versus “You make me angry!!”.

  • 4

    Language: State what you want. Be direct and specific. Less is more.
    ex: ” I would like to take next week off for vacation” vs. ” I was thinking about taking a vacation”.

  • 5

    Language: Know how to say no. If you do not want to do something or are unable to, it is ok to say no. Again be direct and specific. you do not have to explain in detail. ex. “I am sorry, I can not so that at this time”

  • 6

    Body language: Walk and sit with back straight. Hold head up. Look at people as they pass or talk.

  • 7

    Body language: Dress and groom confidently. Choose clothing, hair, make up, etc, that show you care about yourself.

  • 8

    Listening: Listen to what the other person is saying. Make sure they are finished and respond. You do not have to agree, but restate what you think they said to you. ex. “I understand your concern about ___, however I disagree” or “I understand what you are saying and agree with your fact on____, however—-“

 

  • Being assertive does not mean being aggressive, rude or self centered. A person who is assertive demonstrates the ability to stand up for their thoughts and feelings without being mean or without backing down out of fear. It is the middle ground between being passive and aggressive.

  • 2

    Language: Be tactful and respectful. Ex: “Do you have a moment to talk” or “I am sorry to interrupt”.

  • 3

    Language: Use “I” statements. I feel or I think. This helps keep the focus on communication versus blaming. ex: “I feel angry when you…” versus “You make me angry!!”.

  • 4

    Language: State what you want. Be direct and specific. Less is more.
    ex: ” I would like to take next week off for vacation” vs. ” I was thinking about taking a vacation”.

  • 5

    Language: Know how to say no. If you do not want to do something or are unable to, it is ok to say no. Again be direct and specific. you do not have to explain in detail. ex. “I am sorry, I can not so that at this time”

  • 6

    Body language: Walk and sit with back straight. Hold head up. Look at people as they pass or talk.

  • 7

    Body language: Dress and groom confidently. Choose clothing, hair, make up, etc, that show you care about yourself.

  • 8

    Listening: Listen to what the other person is saying. Make sure they are finished and respond. You do not have to agree, but restate what you think they said to you. ex. “I understand your concern about ___, however I disagree” or “I understand what you are saying and agree with your fact on____, however—-“

Read more: How to be assertive | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4446563_be-assertive.html#ixzz1afVe4hwE

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